Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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