I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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