September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
