I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
