I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
