Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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