at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
