I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
