just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
