Sry I called you an 8
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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