it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize