id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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