i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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