Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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