Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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