Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
