Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
