this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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