New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
