kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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