I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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