I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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