Do you still have your period?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize