she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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