I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Life is so much better after having sex.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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