hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize