chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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