You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
