White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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