Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
