i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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