I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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