Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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