just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
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Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
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My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.