Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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