Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!

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(207): View more from Maine

hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.

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(810): View more from Michigan

I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.

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(716): View more from New York

He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(847): View more from Illinois

Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...

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(908): View more from New Jersey

My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole

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(480): View more from Arizona

Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.

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(407): View more from Florida

I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.

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