yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
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Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
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It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf