You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
i've created a new STD.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
