He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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