I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize