im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
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Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
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I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.