dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me