Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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