I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
