Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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