I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
