Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
