too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
