I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize