Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
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I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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