The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
there is puke in my bra ... again
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize