She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
