just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
