About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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