My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
