wanna go halves on a baby?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
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