I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
