You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
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I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
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i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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