So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
