there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
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I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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