Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
