you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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