I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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