Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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