So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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