remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
