Taylor Swift is so right about you.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
