She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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