That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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