I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
