marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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