can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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