I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
