dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
