The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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