I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
