sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Threesome in a minivan. New low
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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