When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
