I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
