chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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